It was storming outside when I arrived home yesterday. The only outlet I trust in the old house powers the refrigerator and the microwave. I had a nice dinner of nuked baked purple potato, peas, and green beans all courtesy of the microwave. I chose not to turn on the television or the computer in the electricity charged storm air. By 9:30pm it seemed safe to turn on the television. It was then that I started watching the stats class. I hope it doesn't storm tonight, so I can have a better shot at watching all 2 1/2 hours of instruction before returning the tapes Saturday morning.

Since January my friends and I have gotten together in the early hours of Saturday or Sunday mornings to run 6 or 8 miles. When I heard miJ (Jim Kirwin) was returning to coach this year after battling cancer last year, I decided I would run another season. Now I am co-leading the pack of 13 minute milers on Sundays with running buddy Ann.

One early morning run we were all talking about which marathon to run this year. Rosa didn't get in the 2002 Disney and had lots of fun running the 2001 Chicago Marathon, Ed doesn't really like the 2000 Disney compared to other marathons he's run, the 2002 Disney wasn't as good to Cindy as the 2001 Tampa, Rick and Christine will pretty much go along with the group. Ed said he was in the lottery for the Marine Corp Marathon, October 27 in Washington DC, and that he and his kids were ALSO running the Chicago Marathon 2 weeks prior to the Marine Corp, on October 13. Well everyone entered the lottery, but with just one drawing left, no one had gotten in we all decided to pull our names and run the Chicago Marathon instead. There are no lotteries for the Chicago. They have room for more than 36,000 runners in the Windy City. Being in the back of the pack, this means it may take as long as 20 minutes to reach the starting line!

So here we are all registered for the Chicago Marathon. Many of us are registered for the 2003 Disney Marathon. And of course we have to run a "practice marathon" in December, which will be the beautifully shaded course of the Jacksonville, FL marathon. Last year the very-warm-and-sunny-and-completely-lacking-in-shade 2001 Hops marathon in Tampa, was our "practice marathon" for the 2002 Disney.

You'd think that 3 marathons would be enough for a slower than the penguins runner like myself. Instead I start thinking that we're running a marathon in October, a marathon in December and a marathon in January, why not run a marathon in November as well. There were three good November marathon candidates: Atlanta, GA, Richmond, VA, and the New York City Marathon. Before my rational side could catch up with me, I convinced Rosa to join me for the NYC marathon and signed up for the lottery drawing. There's no guarantee that either one of us will get admitted to the marathon but it only costs me $7 to try.

Formal Track Shack training starts this Sunday, June 2 with an 8 mile run. Tuesday and Thursday early morning track workouts begin just days after that. It looks like the beginning of a long road of training. The marathons are always much more fun than the training runs. Here's my marathon schedule: Chicago Marathon, October 13, 2002 then perhaps the New York City Marathon, November 3, 2002, then the Jacksonville "practice" Marathon, December 15, 2002 and finishing with the Disney Marathon, January 12, 2003.

Monday morning I introduced 2 friends to yoga by taking them to the 9:30am class. Yoga in the morning is different that yoga in the evening. Morning yoga starts at 9:30 am and runs until 11 am. When it was over it felt as if I'd lost too many hours of the day. I ran some errands. Worked on a project on the computer. I did two loads of laundry at the Thornton Park coin laundry in 89 degree Fahrenheit heat. Then at 6pm I joined some friends for dinner and fireworks at Epcot. It was a full day.

I feel like I should've accomplished more with the holiday weekend. Why didn't I rake the leaves in the front yard that have been bothering me? Why didn't I even start a project that will consume at least 30 hours which must be completed by June 10? Why didn't I clean the bathroom? Why didn't I clean the living room and kitchen hardwood floors? There is filing to be done. The kitchen table is somewhere beneath a messy stack of paperwork and groceries. The laundry didn't get put away. There are even boxes left to be unpacked from my move in January. The work exhausts me just thinking about it.

54 M'nM's. I already miss Tan.

Journey of Man
I met Eric and Dan at the Orlando Science Center for the 7pm presentation of Cirque du Soliel's Journey of Man on the 8 story IMAX. Some of my favorite acts are presented in that short film. It is much more breathtaking in IMAX version than in the plain-old DVD on my TV version. This was the first show I've seen at Orlando's IMAX theater. There have been many I've wanted to see: Tours of Egypt, Dolphin, and Space themed movies, but I haven't managed to see one at the Orlando Science Center before.

After the film, Dan, Eric and I wandered over to White Wolf Cafe for dessert and coffee. I decided I wanted real food and feasted on their spinach lasagna. We all remarked at the wait staff turnover. Its been quite some time since the BOBB dined at WWC. By now Eric and Dan are high in the skies on their way to a week long Seattle vacation. Have a great time guys. Bring back chocolate!

Last week I sent Grandma a tape of Texas Gladden singing songs from her childhood. Ms. Gladden was from the north western part of Virginia and was one on Alan Lomax's subjects. The Lomax family traveled all around the world recording traditional and folk music where ever they found it. The recordings are on file at the Smithsonian. Some collections have been released on CD. I bought a few of these CD's with a $50 Amazon.com gift certificate I won from Lightspeed for completing surveys.

When the first CD arrived from Amazon.com, the one featuring Texas Gladden, I transferred it to tape and sent it to Grandma. Grandma doesn't have a CD player, and my father is convinced if I sent her one she wouldn't be able to use it. CD jewel cases are notoriously difficult to open and one of the best examples of poor user design.

She received her tape last week and called last night to tell me all about it. Grandma said she didn't know any of Texas Gladden's songs. She said that one had some lyrics from the "Wreck of the Old '97" but the tune and the rest of the lyrics weren't right. Even though she didn't know any of Ms. Gladden's songs, Grandma said she was inspired to complete her tapes. She hasn't attempted any recordings in months. She tells me how she messes up the lyrics or when she goes listens to herself she doesn't like how she sounds. This week, after listening to Ms. Gladden's songs, she went back and listened to her own recordings again and is once again inspired to record them. I hope she does.

This week I'll be sending off two more tapes of CD's purchased from Amazon.com. One is a compilation of Railroad songs from all over the US. The other has mostly bluegrass style guitar picking music. Some songs have lyrics others don't. Maybe Grandma will know some of these tunes.

Sunday I missed the 5:20 pm showing of About a Boy because it was sold out. We saw the 7:40 showing instead. I missed out on taping Alias on ABC because I didn't know it was on at 8pm instead of its usual time slot - 9pm. I did get to see both hours of the season finale of The Practice - the VCR has been set to record ABC from 9pm - 10pm for many weeks. It wasn't until yesterday that I realized I missed the finale of Survivor 4.

Why did CBS choose to show this on Sunday - right on top of the episode of Alias I missed and the double episode of the Practice I taped? I fully expected to watch the finale of Survivor two days from now - Thursday at 8pm - during its normal time slot. I was browsing news and saw a headline that Vecepia was the ultimate Survivor. I read the recap of the final episode and the reunion episode online, but I would have enjoyed watching the episode. This Thursday there's 2 hours of CSI, 8pm - 10pm scheduled for CBS.

The Florida Film Festival is less than a month away. The one movie I really want to see is the east coast premier of Gigantic - a Tale of Two Johns. If I don't catch the 7:15 showing on Friday, June 14, I'll have missed that too.

Ally Finale
I watched the last episode of Ally McBeal last night. One of my favorite shows is gone. They brought back some old cast members and of course there was a party in the bar. Barry White played the song that makes Ally watchers smile. The entire cast hits the dance floor, but do they do the dance that made the character John Cage, played by Peter MacNichols famous. NO, they just swayed around like a typical last hurrah cast. I really wanted to see the John Cage dance.

Joy About a Boy
I saw the latest Hugh Grant film, About a Boy, on Sunday. It made me laugh out loud. It was an adorable, cute and funny movie. I particularly liked the music tracks most of which were originals by Badly Drawn Boy, a not so famous UK band. I have a new favorite band to find out about. Kudos to Hugh Grant, who even with significantly less hair looks great on the big screen.

Another Wacky Encounter at the Gym
My life as a single girl in Orlando continues to get more interesting. J.D, the older gentleman from the gym struck up a fun conversation during yesterday's torture session. I learned he made a late night trip to the Dunkin Donuts on Sunday eve and blamed me for the sugar buzz and subsequent sugar crash. I learned of his late wife's cat, a Persian (the cat not the wife) that he nursed back to health. I learned of his recent dislike for an older woman from the gym that he asked out. He decided she was too crazy for him because of the way she mourned over the loss of her pet dog and now he is avoiding her. He has decided to scout out some of the younger men at the gym for me. He wants to fix me up with one of the weightlifter fellows. This can only get more entertaining!

We always hear "the rules" from the feminine side. OK, we are now going to hear the rules from the man's side. These are our rules! Please note ... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!
1. We don't remember dates. Mark all birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Check your oil! Please.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

Dunkin Donuts are cake doughnuts. Krispy Kreme doughnuts are yeast doughnuts. They are quite different. While Dunkin Donuts have quite some bulk to them, the grease, yeast and sugar combination that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut melts in your mouth with the first bite. Krispy Kreme doughnuts are served at a lot of gas stations and supermarkets nearby, but the gentleman and I agree that it isn't worth the calories unless you get the Krispy Kreme doughnut while the "hot doughnuts now" neon sign is illuminated at the actual Krispy Kreme store.

There we are in the gym, discussing the wonder of the Krispy Kreme doughnut while we torture ourselves with Abductor and Adductor machines. There was a sign on the "golden fried mile" advertising an unused parcel of land as the future home of a Krispy Kreme doughnut store. I was so gleeful when the sign went up, anticipating diet-busting trips to the store. The sign disappeared recently. The gentleman noticed this as well.

I like listening to the gentleman's stories. He talked recently of a conversation he had with a young man of 19 or so that was scared to ask a female co-worker out on a date. The gentleman relayed to the young man what his approach would be. In the story, the young man successfully asked the girl out by following the gentleman's advice.

The grandmother reminded me of my own grandmother. She had a similar face and accent. I discovered that this woman was also from Pennsylvania, like my grandmother, but from the Ohio side. She talked a lot of her grandson, 18 yrs old, graduating from high school this week. He had testicular cancer this year, but beat it. "Wow," the home health care giver and I repeated often throughout this conversation. 18 years old is much too young for testicular cancer.

It seems cancer runs in their family. I learned of every uncle, cousin, aunt, niece and nephew that had cancer, and which type of cancer it was. Which ones beat it and which ones died because of it. The grandmother's brother died of some form of cancer a few years ago. She told a story of how the family recorded him singing Christmas songs on a dulcimer one year. After he was gone, one family member had the 8mm film converted to VHS and provided everyone with a copy. They play it every year at Christmas.

The grandmother was adamant that purchasing a new car was less of a raw deal than purchasing a used car. She explained that interest rates were lower and that there were warranties and that less mechanical problems occurred with new cars. The home health care worker agreed with the grandmother that new cars were better than older cars. I on the other hand believe firmly in not having a car payment. Since I don't walk around with $20,000 in my bank account a $6000 car is about all I can ever afford. I run my car until it consistently costs more to keep it going than $300 / month or too many "this can wait" problems build to a sum total of $1500 worth of "this must be fixed now" problems. My last car was 13 years old when I got rid of it. A 1987 Mustang I owned from 1994 to 2000. I'll probably have this 1994 Saturn for 6 years as well. Why give up a car you just spent $300 on - new rotors and new front brakes?

That leads into the subject of my discontent. Several months ago, I brought the car in to have the brakes checked. I was told I absolutely immediately had to have the rear brakes changed and that the front brakes had 10,000 miles left on them. This was the 2nd oil change since the 10,000 mile comment. Since the odometer froze in February, I have no earthly idea how many miles I'm putting on the car, but I know its significantly less than 10,000 miles. I expected to only need new brakes, not new rotors. Did the mechanic specifically inform me to drive another 10,000 miles so that I would wear out the rotors as well as the brakes, and would need to have them repaired when I decided it was time for new front brakes? I think this is all a scam. I don't doubt that I needed new rotors. I question why I wasn't told that waiting the amount of miles recommended by the mechanic would significantly increase my chances of a very expensive repair.

On the day of the Saturn repair, I was to meet some friends to attend a Fringe Fest play directed by my friend Greg. I arrived at Saturn at 4:30pm. I called everyone to see if anyone wanted to pick me up and have dinner with me before the show. Daniel was kind enough to rescue me from the Saturn waiting area and enjoy a tasty meal at a nearby Ruby Tuesday's. He however could not attend the show because of school work. Eric and Dan could not attend because it was too late to be headed downtown. Dewayne did not respond to my "hip tickles" to his mobile phone. Gwynne had an appointment until 8:15pm and would join me at 9pm for the show. I started calling her at 8pm and got no response. At 8:30pm I paid $3 to park at Church Street Station and walked inside to buy tickets. "Sold Out," I was informed. Not even one ticket left. There are 2 chances left to see the show - Saturday and Sunday. I suspect they will be "sold out" as well.

This experience raises the question, why do the Fringe Fest organizers put the most popular shows in the smallest venues. I don't know what was showing in the Red venue that evening, but it holds nearly 3 times as many patrons as the Yellow venue. This problem happened last year with the Oops Guys production of Asian Sings the Blues - there were bigger venues not being sold out, and this show sold out its tiny venue at every show time. I may skip the Fringe altogether this year on principle alone. Greg doesn't need me filling a seat at his show. Its obvious everyone wants to be there.

Tonight a friend is opening an digital art exhibit. I'll be attending later this evening after my daily appointment with the free weights and spin bike at the gym.

At any rate the story is cute and worthy of passing along. Enjoy.

Always be nice to your IT/IA personnel.

How about this for a resignation letter...(An actual letter sent by a fed up U.S employee in Port Huncliff, New England)

As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superior shares an intellect that hinges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of myself, and my co-workers during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time. Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know about Unix, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.

You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will. You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp-dressed, useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting points.

1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.

2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.

3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your mothers birthday", you neglected to mention the photos of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a ketchup bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the receipt of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please, I hate having to correct your damn mistakes.)

Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow, not ONE minute later. One word of this to anybody and all of your twisted little interests will be revealed to the public. Never fuck with your systems administrators, because they know what you do with all your free time.

There are two iron benches outside the Laundromat. From the laundry you can see and hear the people at Dexter's restaurant laughing, drinking and eating. The aroma of dinner is always tempting. I was sitting on one of the iron benches, with my statistics book opened when one of the employees of the Laundromat arrived by bicycle to turn on the lights and tidy the place up. Later, an older gentleman arrived toting a bag that looked as if it contained a tennis racquet. The second man and the first man exchanged pleasantries while the tennis bag carrying man purchased a Dr. Pepper and proceeded to sit on the adjacent iron bench.

He started a conversation asking about my studies, but he really wanted to talk about politics. Any politics would do. He doesn't like Mayor Glenda Hood or Governor Jeb Bush. He doesn't like the Sentinel because they haven't published an opinion article he submitted. He likes just one of their opinion page columnists - I forget which one. He had much to say about Enron and K-mart. He had a strange opinion that the insulation in attics of old Florida homes would spontaneously combust in the hot summer heat. I argued that it may not be energy efficient, but whatever is insulating the attics of the old Florida homes of Thornton Park was not at all likely to spontaneously combust regardless of how much hotter everyone thought this summer would be than last summer. Before I knew it I had only completed one statistics problem and it was time to fold the laundry.

The Dr. Pepper drinking man left as quickly as he arrived leaving me to enjoy my quaint old neighborhood again. My belief that "All the nuts roll down to Florida" was reconfirmed. Its ok with me if the "sore thumb" theory continues to prevail if it keeps a few of the new arrivals from permanently settling in. I for one am sticking around just a little bit longer.

I'd have to agree with the article. A simple exit survey would've revealed that 2 years ago when lots of money was spent to motivate us all via sattelite, we all thought it was a giant waste of time.

The rising price of education...
Yes, I started my masters again this semester. This time at UCF. In a previous post, I listed the courses required to complete the program. Now lets talk about cost. If the state of Florida chooses not to raise tuition then my masters degree at ucf will cost:
$507 / 3 credit hour course x 15 courses = $ 7605
$100 / book x 15 courses assuming 1 book per course = $ 1500
Total Cost = $ 9105

Today I'm tasked with making a site developed using .NET technology, developed in Visual Studio.NET "prettier". Now Visual Studio knows about as much about making it easy for programmers to design pretty usable websites with CSS as Dreamweaver MX knows about programming C#. I am faced with a small stack of .aspx pages to convert back to good 'old XHTML while still maintaining all the .NET functionality. This may sound easier than it is. The .NET programmer / SQL programmer wanted a hyperlink on the menu page. .NET writes this:

<asp:hyperlink id="mycrypticid"  
style="Z-INDEX: 101; LEFT: 24px; POSITION: absolute; TOP: 153px" 
tabIndex=1 runat="server" 
NavigateUrl="pagetovisit.aspx">
Text of Link</asp:hyperlink>

Dewayne's post today made me chuckle as I thought of my own traumas at the dentist. I'm not sure which is worse having "ROOT CANAL CANDIDATE" emblazoned across your file in large bold letters like Dewayne's file, or having "VERY APPREHENSIVE" emblazoned across your file in equally large bold letters like my file at my dentist's office. I recall an episode of Seinfeld where Elaine was disatisfied by what her doctor emblazoned in large bold letters at the top of her file.

For more chuckles, go read about tadpoles in the decorative garden pond at SuburbanLimbo. It reminds me of my own adventures. Hundreds of tree frogs were found living in the shower drain pipe during December's bathroom repair / renovation at ye old circa 1925 downtown colonial style duplex.

If you're like me and dreaming of a few moments outside the cube - some place warm, put on some Jimmy Buffet music and drift away while watching this web cam from Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.

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In other news, the Orlando Fringe Festival is upon us. The online schedule isn't in a pretty excel format this year. I'm busy picking the shows I want to see. Already on the list is Fairy Tales, for which I received this advertisment from friend and director Greg Triggs:

Come see FAIRY TALES by Eric Lane Barnes at The Orlando International Fringe Festival May 10th thru May 19th!

This gay friendly musical revue directed by Greg Triggs, choreographed by T. Robby Pigott, with musical direction by Jason Wetzel, will be performed at the YELLOW venue. The show features Jennifer Bascom, Jim Howard, Layden Sadecky, Desta Sheridan and Scott Weyrauch.

So come laugh a lot and cry a little and hear a new spin on FAIRY TALES...

Friday, May 10th (early Saturday...) 12:05am
Saturday, May 11th (early Sunday...) 12:30am
Tuesday, May 14th 9:00pm
Friday, May 17th 12:10pm
Saturday, May 18th 7:15pm
Sunday, May 19th 2:15pm

Tickets are $8.00 and a Fringe button is required for admission.

Robo-Rat
Suppose the remote controlled rat hit the market? The remote controlled rat sounds like it has terrific search and rescue potential. But what happens when the controlling device and rodent gets into the hands of John Q. Public? Can you see them being used to scare girls by high school boys? How about to traffic drugs through urban America? Oh, and they could even be showcased in a separate gambling facility next to your local dog track and Jai Alai arena. Could they be trained as pets? Could you torment your cat with one?

Rest Stop!!!

I left Fort Lauderdale heading toward Orlando, when I decided to stop at a comfort station. The first stall was occupied, so I went into the second one. I was no sooner seated than I heard a voice from the next stall: "Hi, how are you doing?"

Well, I am not the type to chat with strangers in highway comfort stations, and I really don't know quite what possessed me, but anyway, I answered, a little embarrassed: "Not bad."

And the stranger said: "And, what are you up to?"

Talk about your dumb questions! I was really beginning to think this was too weird! So I said: "Well, just like you I'm driving North."

Then, I heard the stranger, all upset, say, "Look, I'll call you back, there's some idiot in the next stall answering all the questions I am asking you."

There are still some kinks. For some reason the style doesn't kick in until the third post or so.... why is that?

Oh that's right - you can't trust that <p> tag!

Now that I've solved that woe, its off to bed! G'nite kids!

HOW TO BATH THE CAT
1. Thoroughly clean toilet.
2. Lift both lids and add shampoo.
3. Find and soothe cat as you carry him to bathroom.
4. In one swift move, place cat in toilet, close both lids and stand on top, so cat cannot escape.
5. The cat will self agitate and produce ample suds. (Ignore ruckus from inside toilet, cat is enjoying this).
6. Flush toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides power rinse, which is quite effective.
7. Have someone open outside door, stand as far from toilet as possible and quickly lift both lids.
8. Clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and outdoors, where he will air dry.
Sincerely, The Dog